In a New York Minute

I have this second gmail account (as you do). The address is my full name - essentially for a more ‘serious’ situation that I’ve never actually used it for.

Anyway. A few months ago, I started getting the odd email to it like this:

Hello All,

Can anyone possibly cover me for one hour on Monday (12:30 - 1:30pm)?  I can do one of your hours as well.  Please let me know.

Thanks,
Tim

This kind of thing comes through once a week as a CC’d list of workers at an Equinox gym in New York City. I took no notice but I knew that the day would come when something amazing would happen. That day is today. This was sent to 3 of the guys on the previous CC list by their boss:

All of you were late for your floor shift. I realize this is not the first time since I have had complaints about it before. Please make sure that it doesn’t happen again. We are not in school. We are working professionals. I expect you all to act like one. Your break happens in the middle of your shift not at the beginning, right Dan? Also if we have a client we are to end that client on time, not 15 or twenty minutes after the hour I am suppose to work the floor, right Chris? And as for reading and writing while your suppose to be roaming and handing out towels, keeping the weight straight and meeting members is just counter productive, right Curtis. If all of you gentlemen are interested in getting off the floor shift all you have to do is produce the right amount of sessions. Any questions?

Giuseppe

As you can see, Guiseppe is pretty pissed at my internet twin (and New York Equinox Gym worker) Curtis Williams. I’m inclined to respond:

Giuseppe, don’t get your thong in a knot.

You know I’m working on my screenplay and only slaving it here at Equinox until I can finally MAKE IT. I really think I’m onto something: a feature-length reboot of classic 70’s sitcom “Welcome Back Kotter” starring Zac Efron as Horshack.

And get this, Vinnie Barbarino is the principal of James Buchanan High. It’s gold. My agent says it’s the best treatment she’s read since Knight Rider 2000.

Anyway, catch you on the flip-side, Juice.

ps. I can’t work Tuesday, Wednesday and Friday of next week. I’m learning how to use Final Draft at the learning annex.

Curtis.

DARE ME.

Update: Sent. Juice is going to kick Curtis’ ass.

UPDATER: HE REPLIED.